Anything and Everything

Last entry

2010-02-09T17:36:00.001-08:00

Just to kind of close out an era of time. I am closing out this blog. I will no longer be posting here. I have realized a few things about myself and have come to the conclusion that this blog was designed for a specific time and that time is now gone. So, for anyone who happened to be following this blog goodnight and God Bless.

Giveaway!

2010-02-08T14:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a long. Sorry about that. Not that many follow me anyway. Back to the reason for this post. My sister-in-law at www.this-walk.blogspot.com is doing a giveaway. The item is a family movie 3 pack; flywheel, Facing the Giants, and Fireproof. I have seen each one of these movies several times and I highly recommend them all. They are faith based and family friendly. All you have to do is log onto her blog and leave a comment. Then your lovely little name gets put in the drawing. Have fun and good luck!

Lacking

2009-11-29T12:46:00.000-08:00

Throughout this holiday weekend I have found out a few things about myself. I have found myself lacking in an area of my life that really needs work. Patience is the ability to bear trials without grumbling. I am also told that patience is a virtue. I find myself lacking THAT particular virtue.
James 1:3 "Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience."

I have this feeling that my faith will be tried. I realized that I don't have much patience when it comes to my children. I came to this realization at the gas station, of all places. I had asked my son to do something for me. He is 8 and gets very distracted sometimes. I know this yet every time he gets that way it irritates me. I find myself asking him why he can't follow my simple instructions. I also realize that I call him and his sister "crackhead" a lot. I don't know why and I don't know where I picked it up at. I am pretty sure that I heard my sister saying it but not quite certain of that. I am not blaming her for it. I can choose whether to use it or not. At the gas station I found myself calling my son that and yelling at him because he couldn't follow my simple instructions. I also did not concern myself with the fact that I had an audience of several people. I am ashamed of myself and feel like I am not a good mother to my children. My husband, son and myself were on our way to my in-laws house on Saturday. I found myself crying the whole way there. My husband assumed it was because I didn't want to go to his parents house but that is a whole other story. But what it was is that my HEART was BREAKING!! I couldn't handle the fact that I would deliberately HURT someone I loved that way. I reminded myself of my own earthly father. I don't want to be known like him! I want to be known like my Heavenly Father. Full of love and compassion for all. I need patience when it comes to my children. I expect a lot out of them. I don't know why. They are only 11 and 8. They can't be expected to know and do everything PERFECT. I just need to keep reminding myself that.

So, Father God I am officially asking for patience with my children. I know that the trying of my faith develops patience. I know that it is going to be hard but I also know that You don't place more on us than we can handle. I know that You will put on me what I need, and I know that You will be patient with me to help me through it. Help my Lord to know You more and to show Your love to my children and all those around me. Continue to work in my heart and life as You have been. Keep us in Your kind and loving hands. I ask all this in Your Precious and Holy Name. AMEN

God's Presence

2009-11-24T15:30:00.000-08:00

I can not begin to tell you how wonderful our Sunday Worship service was at church. God was there! I say that because since moving to the San Antonio area, we have been to a LOT of churches trying to find the one that God wants us to be a part of. I believe that this is the church that God's wants us to attend, and I believe He confirmed that by sending His presence to dwell among us on Sunday morning. I don't even remember what songs we sang. All I remember is pouring my heart out to God and asking His forgiveness, because I have failed in sooo many areas that I am totally surprised and in awe that He would touch me the way He did Sunday. He began a work in me on Sunday and I am working really hard to keep that going throughout this week.

Knowledge

2009-11-11T03:02:00.000-08:00

My husband is a very smart man. I wish sometimes I had that kind of head knowledge. I would love to sit down with people and chat about science and the theory of relativity but that just does not interest me. I am more of a practical smarts type person. Going off that, I don't know God as well as I should. I should read His word but don't. I don't know why. I love to read. I guess this is just something I must ponder on throughout my day and see what happens.

I can see the Sun!

2009-11-09T14:33:00.001-08:00

You know how after a storm there are still clouds. Well, the torrential rain and never ending wind that has seemed to buffet me over the past month seems to be gone. There are still clouds, still a possible chance of a storm. But, off in the distance I can see the beginning rays of the sun. I know that things will be okay. I Know that God has supplied and will continue to supply all my needs according to His riches in Glory. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that things are turning around and will get better all for His glory. All I need to do is to ALWAYS remember to say thank you and to humble myself before Him everyday. I KNOW my Redeemer lives! I KNOW who is in charge of my days! I KNOW who has only good planned for me. His Name is JESUS!!! My wonderful councelor, my friend. JESUS

STORMS!!

2009-11-06T20:55:00.001-08:00

There is a song called "Praise you in the Storm". I don't know if you have heard it but it has become my theme this past couple of months. Some of the lyrics are

I will praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
because of who you are
no matter where I am
And every tear I cry
You hold in your hand
you never left my side
though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

There has been a mighty storm blowing in our lives this past year. I feel like one of the disciples on the boat telling the Master "don't you care that we parish". I know that He cares and that He is there but a little help would be nice. I have never lost my faith that God would come through but I am slowly losing hope. And I know that without hope there is nothing. I don't want to lose hope. Please keep us in your prayers.

Wow!!

2009-07-21T18:31:00.001-07:00

I have not been myself here lately. That in itself is driving me and everyone around me crazy. I really am unhappy. I don't think it is depression, but how would I know. Everyone who is depressed always says they aren't. I probably wouldn't notice even if it bit me in the behind. I am MAD!!! I know that for certain. There are things going on in my head and I don't feel like I can discuss them with any of the people around me. They just keep saying we need to wait, be patient. I am TIRED of being patient. I am TIRED of waiting. I know that God's timing is never ours but you would think that He moved us for a reason at that particular time for something. But I have yet to find out what that something is. I guess you could say that this blog posting is nothing but a rant! And that is ok. Sometimes you just need to get somethings off your chest. Well, I still haven't done that yet but I don't feel like I would be accomplishing anything by doing that. So I guess I will leave it at this for now.

New

2009-06-22T18:06:00.000-07:00

I posted last time that we were moving. Well, we did and it is good but not like we had hoped. Money is gone and finding a job has taken a lot longer than we had planned. At least for this month we have a roof over our heads. I have found a job and my first day was today. I have this feeling that even if I don't like it I am going to have to stick with it, because we can't afford for me not too. I am Scared. I am trying my hardest to not let anyone see that. I don't want my husband and kids to see that mom's faith at this point is SHAKEN. I know how holds my tomorrow and I know who holds my hand. Everything in me is screaming to just hold on but my head is having a hard time catching on to that. I need to read a few more verses on faith.
I BELIEVE LORD, HELP MY UNBELIEF.

Moving

2009-05-28T09:58:00.000-07:00

Well, my family and I are moving to San Antonio. We are all anxious and ready to go. We are moving because we feel God is asking us to go there. I have no idea what is in store for us but I do know that if God is in it then it has to be good. I love the fact that I have a husband that is God fearing and willing to do what God asks. My husband is the light of my life. I couldn't imagine my life with out him.

More thoughts to Ponder

2009-03-17T16:44:00.000-07:00

Tell me, how can I How can I love Jesus when I've never seen His face? Yet I see you dying and I turn and walk away.

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite songs. The song is called "Lean on Me" by Christal Lewis.

I never really listened before but after I heard it today I got to thinking how often do we as Christians do that. Or proclaim to Love God with all that is within us but our neighbor who is just lonely but seems very unfriendly we don't even say "Hi" to when we see them outside. I admit I am guilty. What would God say to me about this matter? I believe God speaks to each one of us in a unique and special way. Something He says to me doesn't nesscarily mean He wants me to tell others to do the same thing. But I do believe that He wants the same from all of us and that is to Love Him and show His love to others. That is my goal.

Storms!

2009-03-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

I put a quote in my post last week that I have been pondering. The past 3 weeks or so at work everyone has been sick. I work at a daycare and my husband calls it a germ factory. Well, I went to the doctor last thursday because I was not feeling well at all. Come to find out that my White Blood Cell Count is too low so my body is not fighting off any infections that I may come in contact with. This has resulted in me feeling run down and just plain blah! I am getting better but it is a slow process. I think I did too much on Saturday though because I was completely zapped of energy. Through this whole mess of being sick and run down I have felt this peace about it all. There is a massive storm raging all around me of people being sick but I am peaceful. I am not worried about what the test may say this week. I know that God has me in His hands and He is in control of the situation. It is good to feel this way. Sometimes I take that for granted. I am always running around trying to fix things. Sometimes I just need to stop and say "Ok God, it is yours." He always seems to do a better job of it than I ever could. Makes you stand in wonder and amazement at how mighty and awesome He really is.

Storms

2009-03-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

I was reading a post today and came across this. I thought it was good so I thought I would share it.

Sometimes God calms the storm ... Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms the child.
Author Unknown

What to do?

2009-01-08T10:02:00.000-08:00

Have you ever found yourself at a time in your life where everything seems not bad but not exceptionally good either? I am Blessed. I have a marriage that is filled with love and kind words. Never is there an argument. I have 2 children that are healthy and have been since the day they were born. I love them to death no matter what they do or get themselves into. So, I don't know why I feel the way that I do. I was talking with my husband the other night and letting him know everything that I was feeling. I just feel "lost". In my mind I can see myself standing and all around me I see land and nothing else. No people, no animals just nothing. I don't even seem to be able to find God. I know that He is there. He said in His word He would never leave us or forsake us. I believe that with all my heart. I heard a preacher say once that if we don't see God then think of the last time that you saw Him and see if you left Him behind or if He turned wanting you to follow and you didn't. I am trying that but still nothing. What to do?

Dribble

2008-09-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

If you are thirsty what do you do? I go to the kitchen get my cup, put some ice in it and then put some form of liquid in it. Now, let's speak of the spiritual nature. If you are thirsty what do you do? I have been thirsty for a while now and everything I am doing does not seem to work. I am reading even though it seems to be a chore. Praying doesn't seem to be doing it either. I seem lost in a world where everyone knows where they are going and how they are going to get there. I don't know what I need, where to go, or what to do. I will figure it out with God's help. Nothing is impossible with God.

Me

2008-09-06T08:46:00.000-07:00

I am nothing. I realize that this world does not revolve around me. No one really cares what I think. They ask just to be polite. And to be truthfull, I am okay with that. It keeps one humble, so to speak. I can't help but think, what God must see when He looks down at me. I am nothing special. I am cracked and broken. I have so many flaws that not even a drop of water will I hold. How can I help the thirsty in this world if I myself am thirsty. I don't even know if I remember how to worship with my whole heart. I assume it is like riding a bike, but I don't know. I guess I will find out this evening.

Long Time

2008-03-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

I got to looking and I have not posted anything in a very very very long time. I got to thinking that I haven't really spent anytime with God in a very very very long time either. Then I remembered something I said in a previous blog. To make a marriage work you need to spend time fine tuning it and making sure that you spend time talking and things like that. The same can be said with a relationship with God. You must make time. God will not force you. You have free will and God will not take over that. It is your chose whether you make the time or not. I here recently have not made that chose. I don't know what my deal is. I really enjoy time with God. But, here lately I have decided that life is just too complicated and I really don't have time. Then I got to thinking, what if God said "You know I really don't have time right now. I have all these other things to do." What kind of predicament would I be in then. There are some things that I need to change and this weekend seems like a good time for that. Actually a month ago seemed like a good time for that. I am just a month behind i suppose.

Who knows

2007-12-15T15:26:00.000-08:00

I find myself being pulled in many directions right now. I know that part of the reason is because I have not spent the time I know I need to in prayer. Reading the Word is no problem, but I find myself at a loss for words when it comes to prayer. I have ceased praying for myself. I have people that are always praying for me and that is great and I love it. It takes a special kind of person to put aside everything that I know is going on in their lives to pray for others. I have come to a place of consistency. That is good in a way but bad in others. I love the work I do. I work at a christian preschool as a teacher. It is great work, but I find myself being pulled away from my husband and children. I hate that part. This job is taking about 12 hours of my day, that leaves 8 hours for sleeping, about 2 hours with my kids and 2 hours with my husband. I could cut out the sleeping but then what good would I be. I good Godly marriage takes time, I feel like I am lacking in that area. I was home sick on Friday and when my kids got off the bus they saw my car in the driveway and immediately started howlering "Mom's home, Mom's home". Made me stop and think about a few things. Who knows how this will turn out. I will trust God in ALL THINGS!

Thanksgiving 2007

2007-11-22T05:51:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say to all Happy Thanksgiving. This is my last thanksgiving in my 20's. In 5 days I turn 30. I am not sure if I like that thought or not. I am thankful that God has giving me nearly 30 years on this earth. I am praying for at least 30 more. I was happy to be turning 30 but now I am not so sure. I have this feeling that I am not where I should be but I do know that I am doing what God wants me to right now. Wow! I think I just confused myself. And so it begins. :o) Oh well.

Church

2007-11-18T04:47:00.000-08:00

At our church we have three services. But it isn't the usual three like others. We have a Sunday morning, a wednesday night, and a saturday night. Sunday morning and Saturday night are preaching and alter calls and a POWERFUL worship service. Wednesday is a indepth bible study. I said all that to say this. :o) Last night I went to church after 2 weeks of not going. There has been this sickness going on thru the house and I think we are all just about over it. But last night I was sitting there and one of our members from the worship team came over and started talking to me. I felt it was kind of strange at first considering that she has a broken foot. But she came over and started talking to me and was asking me what was wrong. So I told her about all the sickness that we were going thru and how I am just sooo tired of being sick. I just don't have the energy to do the things that I think need to be done. She just looked and me and said to me the simpliest of phrases. I have heard it before but for some reason it really hit home. She said, " Just worship and give it all to God." We still had a few minutes before church started so I sat there and began to tell God ( as if He didn't already know) what I was feeling and how tired I was. The music for the service began to play and all the songs were about how wonderful and mighty God is. How Holy He is. I just began to sing "Holy" over and over again. The Spirit of God came over me and I felt peace. It was a wonderful feeling. I don't remember feeling that level of peace in my life for a long time. After church I got to thinking about something that was said during our chapel time and the preschool that I work at. She said that God is waiting to hear from us. It doesn't have to be anything big just a simple "Hello" or "I love you". Then I was remembering something that our pastor last night said. He said " How can you have a relationship with someone if you dont' talk to them?" I then began to realize that my prayer life is NOTHING like it once was. The relationship that I loved so much was gone and I didn't even realize it. WOW!!! This post may not ever get read by anyone but me but at least I can look back and remember. If you are reading this Have a blessed and wonderful day in the Lord.

Sowing and Reaping

2007-10-07T15:05:00.000-07:00

I am reminded of a verse.
2 Cor. 9:6
But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
Which brings me to another verse which during my reading this morning I found.

Psalm 126:5
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

He that sows sparingly shall reap sparingly. Have you noticed that when things are bad you are crying out to God for help and usually (with me) there is a lot of crying. God knows each tear you shed whether it is tears of joy or tears of sadness. How awesome to know that He hears us and He cares enough to know each tear we shed. I can't help but think of all those Christians out there in pain and wondering why this or that is happening to them. Wanting and needing a break of some kind. But instead of turning to the world for answers they are Crying out to God. But now I am reminded of the verse I found this morning that states " They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." With that joy comes a peace as well. How sweet that peace is. So, if you are trevailing and crying but of good cheer for joy comes in the morning. Just know that you are being prayed for. Even if I don't know your name you are on my heart.

Childhood

2007-09-08T08:39:00.000-07:00

I was watching my class of 15 3yr. olds and figured out something. Adults are no different really. I mean look at it. We don't just walk up and hit someone because they took our toy away but we do hurt them other ways. If someone says something or does something that we don't like or don't agree with we start "hitting" each other with our words. Words are very dangerous. They can hurt people so badly that they never want to be around you or talk to you anymore. And when things don't go our way we may not actually stomp and throw a fit but you can tell when someone is sulking. They will have this look on their face like you just kicked their dog. They may be smiling on the outside but on the inside they are boiling mad and hurt. I have decided to watch my words. Keeping our words non-hurtful is a good example for my children. I have also noticed that they know when you are not happy. It makes their day not so good either. Just a soapbox that I find myself on sometimes. Probably pertains to no one but me but oh well. At least it is now in writing.

A couple of things

2007-09-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

I have been praying for months that God would send me the job that I desire. I mean after all, He said He would give us the desires of our hearts. Well, on Sunday August 19, I was looking through the paper and discovered several different jobs that I fill would fit my gifts and talents. So, on Monday the 20th I called and I had 3 different interviews set up for Wednesday the 22nd. There was one in particular that I thought God really was calling me to. It happened to be the first interview of the day. I walked in and felt God with me. As if He were walking right beside me up the stairs to the office. It was the most comforting feeling I have felt in years. I wasn't nervous or even jittery like I usually get before an interview. Just peaceful. I was sitting there talking to the lady and telling her a little bit about myself and why I felt I should get the job. While in the middle of the interview she started talking about what would be expected of me each day and that is when I realized that she was asking telling me that I had the job. I was sitting there talking to her for an hour and a half and left with a new job. She was asking when I could start and she said that if it was up to her she would send me home to eat some lunch and change into something to play with kids in and have me back that afternoon. I was shocked and in awe. I couldn't believe it. I had a new job. It was a great feeling. The whole way home I was praying and crying and just thanking God for all He had done and was continuing to do in my life. My stress level has gone down tremendously since I started this new job. My voice level has actually gotten better as well. I don't loose me temper as much either.

Each morning we (my class and I) start our day with praise and worship. On fridays we have chapel. It is a wonderful feeling to know that God is a part of this school in every aspect. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Revelation

2007-08-20T07:29:00.000-07:00

I have realized something about myself that is not very flattering. I am like a cobra. I strike at anyone I feel is a threat to me. I get very defensive if anyone starts to question the reason as to why I do this or that. I am tired of being on the defensive all the time. If someone has something to say about me oh well. Maybe I am what they said and if so I can learn from it and go on. I will no longer "strike" back. That doesn't help anyone. I will not criticize, condemn, or complain. This is probably for no one but me. But at least it is now documented. Have a great day and keep smiling. It makes your day brighter and you never know who might need to see it.

Hurting

2007-08-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and I was hurting. It felt like my whole insides were going to bust. My breathing was ragged and the only position that was comfortable was the fetal postition. The only thing that came to mind was a plea. It wasn't really a pray because it sounds so unlike me. I was pleading and whining. Please God take this pain away. After about 20 minutes or so the pain was completely gone. I realized something though. There are a lot of people hurting in this world and not just from physical pain. Their hearts are litterally hurting and they don't know why. It is our job as Christians to show them the way to ease that pain. I can remember being a sinner and how miserable I was. There were times when I thought I was going to die. I am so glad that God through his infinate mercy and grace decided that I was worth saving. There is still time to reach them. That is our job as lights in this dark world.

Spiritual Gifts

2007-08-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

I have been chating with this lady at work and she was asking about spiritual gifts, and one would go about finding out what their gifts were. I went online and found her a spiritual gifts test to take. Then I got to thinking, it has been about 4 years since I took a spiritual gifts test so I took one last week. I knew that I had grown stronger in some areas and weakened in others but wasn't for sure which ones. I was amazed to find that Faith instead of helps is my number 1 spiritual gift followed closely by music and then teaching. I was completely shocked to learn that my faith had grown so much. Then God reminded me of last year. Last year we were having a long and hard time of things, but deep down I KNEW that God was there and that everything was going to be taken care of. He would not put more on us then we could handle. I had to stay strong. There was already one of us falling apart. With God's help and strength I was able to stand and be strong knowing that God is on our side, and if God be for you who can be against you? I will never forget what He brought me from to where I am today. I think Him for that each and everyday. There is a song that goes:

Jesus I'll never forget what you've done for me
Jesus I'll never forget how you set me free
Jesus I'll never forget how you brought me out
Jesus I'll never forget, no never.

That is my prayer and my anthem right now. I will never forget.

If

2007-07-28T10:57:00.001-07:00

If you could go back to the day that you were saved, what would you differently? Would you do all the things that you have done the same? Me personally, I would do things a little bit differently. I know that there would be changes to my life and maybe that would be acceptable. Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omlet. So they say. Would you change anything and what would it be? For me, I would have continued my journey with the Lord instead of backsliding.

Where did it all go?

2007-07-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

I have a question and I am not exactly sure how it is going to be answered. Some people will say it hasn't left it is still here or go there and you will find it. My question is. What happened to the worship service? Where did it go? I don't understand. I think this blog is just going to be a bunch of jibberish. Sorry about that. I just dont' know how to put it. What is wrong with a church when they decide that a service is no longer a service but a concert to see how loud we can get the music or see how much dancing can go on. I know for sure that that is not of the spirit. Yes, there are instances where people dance in the spirit but not like this service was. I do know that feel of the Holy spirit and that wasn't it. To be of the flesh is enmity with God. You can't have both. You either are flesh or Spirit. Paul said he died daily. That is what we need to do. Die daily to the flesh, don't give in. With God's strength it is possible.

My daily reading

2007-07-14T09:08:00.000-07:00

As my sis-in-law always says "don't skip over the scriptures". I was reading this morning and came across this scripture.

Psalm 119:1-8
1. Happy are people of integrity, who follow the law of the Lord.
2. Happy are those who obey his decrees and search for him with all their hearts.
3. They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.
4. You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully.
5. Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your principles!
6. Then I will not be disgraced when I compare my life with your commands.
7. When I learn your righteous laws, I will thank you by living as I should.
8. I will obey your principles. Please don't give up on me!

These verses were taken from the New Living translation Version. But I just wanted to comment on a couple of them. My heart was truly touched by these verses. I would like you to reread verse 5 and verse 8.
Verse 5 is talking about our actions. Basically, everything we do. Be is grocery shopping or visiting with friends. My actions WILL consistently reflect His principles. Verse 8 the last part states simply "Please don't give up on me!" Right now that is my hearts cry. Please Lord, don't give up on me! This verse lets me know that the writer of this was human and he did make mistakes just like us. But with God's grace and mercy He manages to look down at us and help us fix the mess we made. Thank you God for that.

The Blood

2007-07-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

I found this in my email and thought it was a great story.

THE BLOOD
One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God
at her heart.

She responded to God's call and accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior.
The young woman had a very rough past, involving alcohol,
drugs, and prostitution.

But, the change in her was evident. As time went on she became
a faithful member of the church.

She eventually became involved in the ministry,
teaching young children.

It was not very long until this faithful young woman
had caught the eye and heart of the pastor's son.

The relationship grew and they began to make wedding plans.

This is when the problems began.

You see, about one half of the church did not think that a woman
with a past such as hers was suitable for a pastor's son.

The church began to argue and fight about the matter.

So they decided to have a meeting.

As the people made their arguments and tensions increased,
the meeting was getting completely out of hand.

The young woman became very upset about all the things
being brought up about her past.

As she began to cry the pastor's son stood to speak.

He could not bear the pain it was causing his wife to be.
He began to speak and his statement was this:

"My fiancee's past is not what is on trial here.
What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus
to wash away sin.

Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial.
So, does it wash away sin or not?"

The whole church began to weep as they realized that they had been slandering the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ .
Too often, even as Christians, we bring up the past
and use it as a weapon against our brothers and sisters.

Forgiveness is a very foundational part of the Gospel
of our Lord Jesus Christ .

If the blood of Jesus does not cleanse the other person completely
then it cannot cleanse us completely.

If that is the case, then we are all in a lot of trouble.

What can wash away my sins?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus ! End of case!!!!
"Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee
he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

Psalm 55:23

God's Grace

2007-06-27T13:46:00.000-07:00

I was reading "My utmost for His highest" by Oswald Chambers yesterday and he was talking about the grace of God.

"Let circumstances take you where they will, but keep drawing on the grace of God in whatever condition you may find yourself. One of the greatest proofs that you are drawing on the grace of God is that you can be totally humiliated before others without displaying even the slightest trace of anything but His grace."

He goes on to say that the grace of God you have today won't be sufficient for today. How each day you need to pray and ask God for His grace for today. He also states that prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God.

How many times in your prayer life (me) do we just ask God for His grace? Instead of using prayer time to ask for certain needs , or for just getting our hearts ready to hear the word preached at church.

I am here by the grace of God. It is my honor to pray and seek His face.

Lord, help me to remember this. Please help me to not take my prayer life for granted. Help me to draw on your grace each and every day. Amen.

Blessings

2007-06-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

I am really a nobody. I don't have a lot of friends and really that is ok with me. If I had too many friends I would be way too busy. I know me! :o) But I am sitting here at 9 at night thinking about how blessed I really am. I went to work this morning at 9:30 and didn't get home until 6:30pm. That really is a long day. I would much rather be here at home with my kids and my husband spending quality time with them. But, despite that, I am BLESSED. I am blessed to have two beautiful children who have no physical ailments that hinder them in anyway. They love me if when I have to discipline them which is really hard to do. I have a wonderful husband whom I have been married to for 10 wonderful years. We just click so well together. I couldn't imagine my life without him in it. I am blessed because he loves me and respects me. Not many men these days treat their wives the way I am treated. I am BLESSED. I came home tonight from work to find that this lady whom I am proud to call a friend has sent me a care package. This lovely lady has sent me some clothes. Now, some of you may be thinking "wow clothes" but it really isn't what she sent but that she remembered me and sent them to me. This blog entry is mainly an entry to remind me that no matter what happens I am BLESSED. God is amazing.

???

2007-06-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

I am currently on a quest. It is a quest that I put myself on. I want more of God. I want to hear His voice better than I do now. The list of wants is long. I don't want them to better myself, I want them to know Him more.

Hotels

2007-06-22T07:36:00.001-07:00

I have decided that hotels are of the devil. We have been staying at this really nice hotel. You know that saying that states" If it seems to good to be true then it probably is". Well, I have learned that the hard way today. As I went to check my bank account I find that the hotel has not only charged us for the days we intially booked but and extra one as well. Well, that would have been fine if it would have showed up yesterday so we could have gotten it fixed for today. As it is we are 6 to 7 hours from home and have enough money to buy one tank of gas. I know there is a lesson here somewhere but at this time I am just not seeing it. I can't really call anyone and ask for money because they would have to put it in my bank and then we still couldn't use it until tomorrow. I hate feeling helpless. Oh well, I guess that is just the way things work around here. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Hello again

2007-06-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to come online and tell everyone (all one of you) hi. I haven't been posting for a few days because I am on vacation. I am loving it by the way. A much needed rest and joining of the family. We have had so much fun. When you are on vacation it is like all the cares in the world are gone and nothing matters anymore. At least that is the way I feel. Sadly though, all good things must come to an end. We will be heading home tomorrow morning. I am sad to leave but will eqaully be glad to be getting back home. I miss my bed and my 50 million pillows. At least that is how many my husband counts each night. LOL :o) Oh well, I guess that is all I wanted to say today. Have a great and blessed day in the Lord. For all of you in Gainesville, TX my prayers are with you. Sleep well all!

Changes Part 2

2007-06-15T20:22:00.000-07:00

My post from earlier was talking about changes. Well, some changes have happened. Not very good ones I must say. I was at work when my sister calls. She called to tell me that my uncle had a heart attack and when they got him to the hospital they couldn't revive him. My uncle passed away this evening. I am very sad. I loved my uncle very much but that is really not why I am sad. Unless he talked with God before he passed on then I know where he is spending his eternity. That is what makes me sad and broken hearted. Please if you are a christian and are reading this I am asking for your help in praying for my dad (Lester). This is hitting him really hard. He did CPR on my uncle until the ambulance got there. I can only imagine what is going on in his mind and heart right now. My dad is unsaved. He really needs the Lord in his life. Please help me pray. Thank you and God Bless you all.

Changes

2007-06-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

There are a few things that will be changing in my world. I can't wait. I have this anticipation that God is in it and all around it and is is going to be sooo good. We are blessed beyond measure. Things are good and I just want the Praise Him for all he has done and all that He will do. Because believe it or not I am 30 but He is still working on me. I love that song
He's still working on me
to make me what I ought to be
Can't help it. I am just insanely happy today.
Have a great and blessed day in the Lord.

Vacations

2007-06-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

I go on vacation in 4 days. I can't wait. I don't get paid from work for going but I can't wait to go. I need a break and feel like this is going to be a good one. Sometimes you just need to get away. I just want rest. I realized the other day that mine and my husbands lives are boring without the kids. My husband and I were home alone yesterday and after a couple of hours I announced "I'm Bored". It didn't take long for me to realize that my life without the kids is nothing right now. My life revolves around them and what is best for them. I don't mind. It gives me things to do. God is so good to grant me children that are healthy and love to worship Him.

I can only imagine

2007-06-11T13:30:00.000-07:00

You are in your car driving home. Thoughts wander to the game you want to see or meal you want to eat, when suddenly a sound unlike any you've ever heard fills the air. The sound is high above you. A trumpet? A choir? A choir of trumpets? You don't know, but you want to know. So you pull over, get out of your car, and look up. As you do, you see you aren't the only curious one. The roadside has become a parking lot. Car doors are open, and people are staring at the sky. Shoppers are racing out of the grocery store. The Little League baseballgame across the street has come to a halt. Players and parents are searching the clouds. And what they see, and what you see, has never before been seen. As if the sky were a curtain, the drapes of theatmosphere part. A brilliant light spills onto the earth. There are no shadows. None. From whence came the light begins to tumble a river of color spiking crystals of every hue ever seen and a million more never seen. Riding on the flow is an endless fleet of angels. They pass through the curtains one myriad at atime, until they occupy every square inch of the sky.North.South.East.West. Thousands of silvery wings rise and fall in unison, and over the sound of the trumpets, you can hear the cherubim and seraphim chanting, Holy, holy, holy. The final flank of angels is followed by twenty-four silver-bearded elders and a multitude of souls who join the angels in worship.
Presently the movement stops and the trumpets are silent, leaving only the triumphant triplet: Holy, holy, holy. Between each word is a pause. With each word, a profound reverence. You hear your voice join in the chorus. You
don't know why you say the words, but you know you must. Suddenly, the heavens are quiet. All is quiet. The angel's turn, you turn, the entire world turns and there He is. Jesus.Through waves of light you see the silhouetted figure of Christ the King. He is atop a great stallion, and the stallion is atop a billowing cloud. He opens his mouth, and you are surrounded by his declaration: I amthe Alpha and the Omega.The angels bow their heads. The elders remove their crowns. And before you is a Figure so consuming that you know, instantly you know: Nothing else matters.Forget stock markets and school reports. Salesmeetings and football games. Nothing is newsworthy.All that mattered, matters no more.... for Christ has come.

School

2007-05-31T19:01:00.000-07:00

I find myself torn today. I was hit with some news which I think is great, but it is a bit pricey. The college in my town is opening its campus to kids from grades 2-6 to go to college for a week and see what it is like. They will actually be learning as well. My 9 year old told me she would really like to go. I want to send her but who knows. God is our provider and with His help I know that we will be able to let her go. It amazes me that see just gets out of school for the summer and she wants to go to school during the summer instead of playing outside all the time. WOW!! I have the most wonderful, terrific children in the world.

The end is near

2007-05-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the last day of school for the kids. They can't wait. My son is happy because he is not a morning person and my daughter is happy because she will get to go and spend the night at people's houses. In about 2 weeks and a few days we go on vacation. We can't wait. We began looking forward to this time of the year around Christmas. Trying to decide where we are going to go and that sort of thing. I usually leave that task up to my husband. He is very good at that sort of thing. I just realized while sitting here it has gotten as dark as 8 or 9 o'clock at night outside. Yeah! more storms. Don't get me wrong we really need to rain around here but does it have to come in gully washers instead of a nice steady spring shower. Oh well, who am I to question what God has in store for us. I think I have rambled on enough for the day. Have a great day.

Things and Stuff

2007-05-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

I really didn't know what to title this blog. I have been struggling with this blog since Wednesday ( May 16). On Wednesday night we went to church and the teaching was wonderful. On Wednesdays the preacher doesn't preach really but more along the lines of teaching. Which is good. I love to be taught. In Romans chapter 12 it talks about the measure of faith. My pastor said that every man is given a measure. Picture if you will a circle and you are in the middle of that circle. That is your measure of faith. What is in that circle is what you can directly affect. If you are a parent it is you kids and spouse. If you are a teacher then it is your classroom of children. Things like that. The prayer of Jabez asks that God expand our boarders. How can God expand our boarders when we don't even take care of what is in our little circle? If God was to bless us with more, how do we know that it won't kill us or drive us away from Him. If you are praying for a home of your own ( and I am talking to myself) then look at the house your are in now. Are you caring for it the way you should? God wants to bless you but He won't give us more than we can carry either. Sounds like a contradiction doesn't it. But really it is not when you actually stop and think about it. The gist of this. Take care of what God has given you first before you ask for more. Be content with what you have and with where you are. If no one else gets this but me at least I am on the record as to knowing what it is that I need to be working on. Have a great and Blessed Day.

Pleasures

2007-05-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

Pleasure in the dictionary means: desire, inclination 2. a state of gratification: enjoyment. 3. a source of delight or joy.

There are many things that bring about this pleasure. Serving God gives me pleasure. To know that there are just simple little things that I can do for Him when He has done so much for me. But I find myself finding pleasure in other things as well and wondering to myself if I should. For instance, I LOVE to get my nails done. Not only does it feel really good to be "pampered" some but my hands always seem to look really pretty to me. Is that wrong? I think that is the only thing that really and truly brings me pleasure that really seems worldly. I seriously think that I could cut out tv watching and that not bother me. I guess the question that is bothering me is "Is it wrong to find pleasure is something as simple as getting a manicure?"

Promotions

2007-05-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

Everyone that works knows what it is like to be offered a better position in the company. Well, that offer came to me yesterday. I was called to the office and was asked if I would like the job of working in the office. This job consists of all nights 12:30-9:30, but it will get me out of the department that I am currently working in permanently. I really don't like the department I am working in right now. Let me take you back a little bit. When I was first hired on for this company the manager and I sat down and discussed some issues. Mostly the fact that I wouldn't work on Sundays and not on Wednesdays past 5. He said that would be no problem we can do that and so he wrote it on my hiring contract that I wouldn't work on Sundays and not on Wednesdays past 5 signed by both him and myself. And he told me that if anyone scheduled me on those days at times to come to him and he would fix it. I said great. Well , when he offered me this new position I assumed the same still applied. So when he told me about the night thing something was niggling at my brain. So I asked him about it. You should probably also know that now we go to church on Saturday night not Sunday morning. So I asked him about Saturday nights and Wednesday nights. He said "I can't guaranty you those evenings off". Wow, what has changed. I don't think my hiring contract has. I just looked at him shocked and he said why don't you go and think about it and let me know yes or no before 5 this evening. I said ok. So, I went back to my work and instead of thinking about it I was praying. When I went on my last break for the day I called my husband and told him what was going on. He wasn't happy. Talking about how the company wanted on pagans working for them and told me to ask the boss if I also needed to sacrifice a goat for him. That sort of thing. My husband gets very intense sometimes. But that just makes me love him all the more because I know he cares. So, anyway, I got off the phone with him and went to the office to talk to the boss. I prayed the whole way to the office. Did I mention the job came with a raise too. When I got there he told me to have a seat and I said that I would rather stay standing. I began to tell him that I appreciated the offer, but I couldn't turn my back on my God, my church and church family, or my home family for that matter. Those things make up who I am and the reason I am a hard worker. That is just me! I can't see myself not going to church that is something that has become a part of me. He said that he respects my decision and that if I was ever willing to make that "sacrifice" to let him know.

I thought that I would be upset about this but I find myself at peace about it. I think that is what made the devil soooo mad. Yesterday when I got home he decided to try and use my children. I am so sorry to hear that. Because I will FIGHT tooth and nail for my kids. The devil can't have them. I won't allow it. I had to discipline my son yesterday. Twice. Anyone who knows me knows that that is not what I do. Moms are supposed to be soft and gentle. They have tender hearts just like a child. Those hearts can be broken very easily. Well, my heart was broken and it felt like it was never going to mend. It is still sore in spots but better. I don't think I have ever cried as much as I cried yesterday. My world seems to be in an uproar but I am still not stressed about it. I know that God has a plan and I am trusting Him to see me through. I would like to leave you with a couple of verses that were shown to me.
Psalm 37:4,5
4. Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.

God's Plans

2007-04-27T08:14:00.000-07:00

God's plans for my life are unclear at this time. I know that there are things that He wants me to do. I am willing to do them. After all I am just an empty vessel without Him. But sometimes He says "wait". It is in that time of waiting that you start to wonder. "Is this really what God wants me to do?" If this is something He wants me to do then why can't I do it now? We as human beings can be so impatient. But I am sorry I am not praying for patience right now. It seems like everytime I do that something drastic happens and then I am left wondering why. Then I remember! AAAHH, I prayed for patience and now my son is trying my patience. I wouldn't say I am an impatient person but sometimes it hits me pretty hard. I think at this time I just need to step back and take a look at myself. I think I am going to have to pull myself out of ministry for a while. I am not where I need to be at this time and I need to spend more time with God. Wow, I don't know why I just told you that. I don't know you and you could probably care less about me and my situation. This blog was not meant for confession. I am not catholic. Sorry! :o( Maybe that is what God is trying to get me to do. Stop and just talk to Him and listen to Him for a while. I think at this time I should just sit at His feet and learn. And so from today till He calls me to work again that is what I am going to do.

Days off

2007-04-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

I think I worried my husband yesterday. Yesterday was my day off and so that is what I chose to do was to actually have a day OFF. I went and did my workout like normal and went and visited an old friend. It started off a normal everyday kind of day for me. Then I decided that I wanted to do NOTHING. And for me, my days off are usually spent cleaning the house and getting things ready like laundry for the week. That sort of thing. But not yesterday. I actually took the day off. My husband and I went and picked up the kids and then we all went grocery shopping. And if you have two small children, you know that them and the grocery store really don't mix well. Every aisle you go down you hear "Mom can we have" "Mom can we buy". I really hate to tell my kids no. I want them to have things they want but sometimes you have to say no. And during the whole grocery trip it felt like I was saying no every 2 minutes. I was really starting to hate hearing that word come out of my mouth. Well, the trip finally ended and we came home. After several minutes of me putting away the groceries and one kid runing in and out of the house and the other asking questions about homework I finally sat down. I sat down and put my feet up and took out my note pad and began to write. Nothing particularly interesting but just a few question that were floating in my head.
1. What do I like about myself?
2. What do I not like about myself?
3. What can I do to change what I don't like?
4. How much time each day does God get from me?
5. How much time each day does my husband and kids get from me?
6. Have I lost my "kid at heart" status?
7. If yes, then When did I lose it?

Those are just some of the questions. After I wrote them all day I just sat there thinking about each one. The kids were outside in the backyard playing with friends so it was very quiet in the house. I love the peace and quiet of my home. While sitting there not coming up with any answers to those questions I realized that I was doing exactly what God wanted me to do at that time. There was this sense of peace about me and just sitting there for one hour gave me rest. A rest that felt like nothing before. I am thankful for a God that can show you peace and comfort in times when you didn't even know you needed it.

Growing

2007-04-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

How do you know when you are growing? Will it actually be painful? When I was younger I always heard my mother saying you are just having "growing pains". Are those true? And if they are is your spiritual growth going to be painful as well? I know that there are somethings that you must go through but does it all have to hurt? How do you know if the pain you are feeling is from growth or just something stupid that you have done that you shouldn't have? Lots and lots of questions. I was always told there is no such thing as a stupid question. I am hoping that one of these didn't break that rule. LOL :o)

Being Angry

2007-04-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

When my husband and I first meet 10 years ago. There were a few people who thought that we should not be together. Well, my boyfriend at the time (which is now my husband) decided that he had gotten his confirmation from God and we got married without the consent of two people who I thought were the most important people to him. Well, one person came to the wedding and the other didn't. To me that was selfish and just down right spiteful. I have held my peace for 10 years and it has come to me that I am angry. It has taken me 10 years to figure that out. I AM ANGRY! I AM ANGRY! Why would someone who says they love you and only wants what is best for you simply turn his back on you? Which is what "John" did to my husband. I have been reading my sister-in-laws blog and she has been talking about "perfect love". I don't have that and I am not sure that "John" has it either. And because I said that my sis-in-law will probably be writing me an email. :o) And that's ok. But I have been reading about David and he was angry. David was a man after God's own Heart. If he can be angry why can't I. I can be angry and sin not. I have been nothing but kind to "John" these past 10 years and I will remain that way. But I am still angry with him for what he has done to my husband. He hasn't said he was sorry or that He was wrong. "Jane" on the other hand has said that she was wrong and that I have been very good for my husband and for that I am not angry with her. I hold no resentment towards her. I love her with all my heart and pray for her daily. I want only good things for her. And if that means praying for "John" then I will. "Perfect Love", I believe, takes time. I am praying for that Love so that I can let go of this anger. I know that one day I will be able to let go, and love those who despise me, but it will take a while.

Get a Clue

2007-03-31T09:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard that saying, "Get a Clue"? I have and I still think it applies to me today. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is something that I need to do. The thing is I am scared. I have taken my concerns to the Lord and still I am scared. I know I need to just trust and obey as the song says but sometimes that is just hard to do. I guess I will just have to do just that.

How do you know?

2007-03-23T09:04:00.000-07:00

How do you know when it is God telling you to do something or if it is something that you would really like to do and so you tell yourself that it is God. I am listening but don't hear anything. I have been told that if it is something out of your comfort zone then it is God. Is that right? How do you know? If anyone has any suggestions at all please let me know. I am in a fix here.

Romans chapter 8

2007-03-20T09:44:00.000-07:00

Romans chapter 8:6
For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.

I don't know about you but having life and peace sounds really good to me. It is not just any peace but a peace like no other. Peace in this world is hard to find. Things are always going on and there seems to be no time to rest and just enjoy things but then again there are those rare times when it is possible. One piece of advice, don't let things get out of hand.

Being Tired

2007-03-14T08:49:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been so tired that everything on your body ached. Even your teeth! I have, and let me tell you it is no fun at all. On Sunday morning I help my husband with his job from 3 am to about 5:30 am. Usually I get to come back home and sleep for 2 or 3 hours and then go work at my job. But not this past sunday. When I got through helping my husband at 5:20 I came home, changed clothes and headed straight to my job. I had to be there at 6 am. I was so exhausted by the time 3 pm rolled around that I came home, took a shower and went to sleep. My recomendation if I am actually qualified to give one is never, ever let yourself get so tired you can't even think straight. At 3 pm that afternoon I got in my car to head home and cried and prayed that the Lord would drive my car home for me. I was miserable. God helped me through that and I know that He will help me with other things if I just keep my eyes on Him.

Singing

2007-02-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

I had to work today at 6 am and was running a tad bit late. I have to leave my house no later than 5:45 so that I have enough time to get there just in case of car problems or I happen to hit every light in town on my way. Don't act like you don't know what I am talking about. We all dislike those street lights and their timing. Anyway, back to what I was talking about. I didn't feel rushed or anything I was just behind. So, while I was at work I was doing dishes and just started to sing. I was singing "How great thou art". It's an old hymn but a very good one. I didn't even realize what I was doing until one customer heard me and said something about it. It was like I was in my own little world and no one was there but me and God and I was singing to Him. It wasn't like an audition or anything it was just me singing to my creator about how great He is. I seemed to have a much better day after that. It is amazing to see what having a song in your heart will do for you.

Things the Lord detests

2007-02-20T06:53:00.000-08:00

I was reading in Proverbs this morning. I really don't know why unless it was to find this one particular passage. I know that God hates sin. But I never realized that there are 7 yes that is what I said 7 things that the Lord detests.
1. haughty eyes
2. lying tongue
3. hands that kill the innocent
4. a heart that plots evil
5. feet that race to do wrong
6. a false witness who pours out lies
7. a person who sows discord among brothers

this is found in Proverbs 6:16-19

Wow! I don't think I ever really knew that. Don't get me wrong. I have read that passage before but it never really sunk in I guess. How much do we really know about the One who saved us? Can you really say that "Yes, I know God" and truely mean it. I can say that I know God. Because in a sense I do. I know that Jesus was born of a virgin, dyed a horrible death on a wooden cross, was placed in a tomb and rose again on the 3rd day. When He left to sit on the right hand of God the Father He sent the Holy Spirit as a comforter to help us and guide us. But is that all we know about the Maker of Heaven and Earth. The One who died for us so that we might live. I want to know more. I have to know more. I have this yearning to know more. Don't let your fire go out. Dont' be satisfied with the little bit that you do have. It is okay to want more of God. I do!

Sins

2007-02-19T18:22:00.000-08:00

I have decided that no matter what there is sin in my life and all around me. I look at myself in the mirror and HATE what I see. I don't hate myself but the sin that is in me and around me. Lord help me. Cleanse me and make me whole again. I have slipped away from you in so many areas of my life that I can't feel you anymore and I don't hear your voice speaking to me. I am lost without you. Hear my feeble pleas oh Lord. Quench not your Holy Spirit from me. I am hlepless on my own. You know my thoughts and you see my heart. Keep me in your loving care.

Struggles

2007-01-29T17:52:00.000-08:00

Since October of 2006 I have been doing an exercise and diet regimen. I started going to a place called Curves. It is for women only which helps and kinda is the reason that I still go. I think if the place was swarming with men I wouldn't go. Since starting this, I look back and notice several changes. My family and I don't eat out anymore. There are changes in what I eat and how much I eat as well as when I eat. I don't really call this a struggle. What I consider a struggle is the fact that is pretty much is the all "ME" show. My trainer keeps saying "You must make time for yourself". To me that is selfish. For the past 10 years or so it has been about what others want. Not that, that is a bad thing. I really like making sure that others are happy and well cared for. But when do you finally decide that you have put others ahead of you so much that you don't konw how to do something nice for yourself?

My God has given me a weird brain. Things bounce around in there and some of it spills out for you to read. I hope that you have a great and wonderful day.

Sisters

2007-01-26T01:55:00.000-08:00

I have a sister-in-law that I used to think of as my sister. We were close. We were best friends. Or at least I thought so. But for some reason I have "dropped the ball" so to speak. I don't know how or why but for some reason we are not as close as we once were. We are more like casual friends. People who put up with each other because they have to. I miss the friendship and comradry that we once had. I wonder is God ever feels that way about us? He created us in His image. But do we thank Him or even just sit down and talk to Him for more than just prayer requests of I need or could you please. If you really need it God will give it to you in His time. Just sit and talk with Him better yet, Listen. Just say "God I am here to listen to your voice and heed your advice". Maybe that is all I need to do with my sister. Love ya Netterz :o)

Hugs

2007-01-26T01:36:00.000-08:00

I was in church on Sunday during the praise and worship time and realized just how tired I was. I don't know why that feeling came over me because all week long I was not feeling tired at all. We sang a new song in church called "The More I Seek You", it was the best song I had heard all week long. During this song the Spirit of God was in this place. You could see it on the faces of the people around you and you could feel it so strongly in building. My son, when he feels that he just gets a weepy. So, I bent down so I could talk to him in his ear. I told him "David, all you need to do is reach out and God is there. He is always there for you. If you need a hug just reach up and ask for a hug." And at that point I realized, I needed that hug. I know that I am not where I need to be in the Lord but I know that I am not where I once was. Thanks to God's Love and Mercy He saved me. I also know that He didn't come just to save me but to save all and that is now my goal. To talk to as many people as I can about God and what He has done for them. That is not just my calling but all who claim to be Christians. I had such a peace about me yesterday at work that I actually calmed a customer down just by smiling and lowering my hand to let her know that I do hear her and that the problem is being taken care of. I was so amazed at how God was working through my life yesterday. It was the greatest feeling in the world. On the way home from work I was praising and worshiping the Lord and He was right there with me. I couldn't have been any happier than I was at that moment, to have the Creator of this world, my Lord and Savior take time to be with me in my car. I have never felt so blessed.
Thank you Lord

Helping

2007-01-11T20:00:00.000-08:00

Being helpfull is good. But how do you know who gets help first? Is it someone in the church or your neighbor next door who knows you are a christian and needs some help? We, as christians, are the light of the world. I know that God guides us and leads us but does He actually tell you who to help or does He let us decide which one needs it more. Those in the church are called to be ministers to those that are lost and need help finding their way. I want to help them find their way.

Faithfullness Part 2

2007-01-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

Faithfulness: Making faith a living reality in one's life.

Matthew 24:45 says
Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his lord hath made ruler over his household, to give them meat in due season?
46 Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.
47 Verily I say unto you, that he shall make him ruler over all his goods.

I pray each day that if the Lord does come that day that He finds me faithful. We are told that God just wants all of you. All the broken pieces everything. Just be a willing vessel totallycomitted to doing the will of God. Is that Fatihfullness? Is faithfullness different for each person?

I am sorry about this post my brain is flying in so many different directions right now it is hard to keep up. My next post will be better unless I can't resolve this and then who knows where it will go. But I would like to leave you with one thought. God is still in control no matter what the situation. So I know that I will get the answers that I seek if I just continue to ask the Creator of all things. Be Blessed and be a Blessing today. :o)

Faithfullness

2007-01-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

I have a question. I am hoping that someone who reads this can let me know. Is faithfullness all that God requires? I have been wrestling with this question for nearly a week and can't seem to find the answer. If anyone knows or has any ideas please feel free to let me know.

Stuff

2007-01-04T16:53:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how much stuff you can learn from a blog. There is a lot of stuff that you can learn about just from talking to people or reading things they write. Strength comes from God. All good gifts and perfect gifts come from God. Strength isn't one of the gifts that that verse is talking about I know but I believe that everything we have comes from above and we should be thankful for all that we have and do not have but will be getting if only we ask. Ask and it shall be given, seek and ye shall find, knock and the door shall be open unto you. You have not because you ask not. Remember just ask.

Love

2007-01-02T19:35:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and rolled over and just looked at my husband. While laying here blatantly starring, with him not knowing it, realizing just how much in love with him I am. When I was young I always said that I wasn't going to get married and wasn't having children. It is amazing how things really work out. It is the same with God. Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about Him and all that He has done for you and realized how much you really REALLY love Him? Again, it is simply amazing.

Christmas

2006-12-18T09:43:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas time again. At first I was not happy or excited about it. My grandmother died in July of this year. She was the only grandparent I had left and she was the one that me and my sisters were the closest to. But now, I am totally looking forward to it. I can't wait to see my kids faces when they open their presents. It is going to be a great day. Not just because of the presents and fun but because the greatest gift of all was given to all. I love Christmas. I hope and pray that everyone has a great Christmas this year and every year to come.

Holiday Traditions

2006-12-17T16:41:00.000-08:00

My family and I did something today that we have never done before. We actually had the money this year to bless others with a good Christmas. My husband and I felt lead by the Lord to bless a family that we used to go to church with. It was such a wonderful feeling. We have helped others before but this was a little different. I don't know why this was different it just was. We went shopping and we picked out the gifts that we wanted to give and then brought them home and wrapped them all and then took them and dropped them off on their front porch. We had a great time, our kids too. I hope to continue the tadition each year and praying that the Lord will give us the name of the family that He wants to bless that year. My challenge to you is to pray through this next year and see how the Lord wants to use you that year to bless others.

Stress

2006-12-15T16:20:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking about stress. Such a little word to cause sooo much trouble. I am also realizing why it is important for moms to be home all the time. My children went to stay the night with their aunt last night so my husband and I had the whole house to ourselves. The thing is we were too exhausted from working for the day that we went straight to bed. LOL I never realized just how important it is to talk to your spouse about your day until you don't. Anyway, I went to work this morning at 6 am and was busily doing my job when I got a phone call. Which made my whole world come to a screeching halt for 1/2 an hour. My husband was calling to tell me that my son's school was trying to get ahold of us because he was sick and we needed to come and get him. Wow! I felt so bad because when your kids are sick you just want to be there with them and make them feel better. Well, I couldn't do that and that bugged me badly. I was calling everyone I could think of to go and pick him up from school because when I told me boss that my son's school called and needed someone to go and get him she looked like she was ready to blow a gasket or something. Which didn't help my world any. The first thing out of her mouth was "Can you get someone to go and get him?". Finding someone to go and pick up YOUR kid is not that easy. I mean he is MY kid I should be going to take care of him, right? Well, the first person I called of course was my mother. I didn't want to call the aunt that they spent the night with because she has her job that she has to go to and I feel like I use her too much as it is. So, I called my mom. My mom lives about 15 minutes away and she was not dressed for the day and things like that so it would have been an hour before she could get him. Wow, never thought I would hear the words "I really can't help today sweetie" coming from her. But she was helpful in reminding me that my brother-in-law was currently unemployed and would probably go and get him. Well, by this time I had been dealing with this for about 10 minutes and my boss was not pleased. You could see it in her eyes. So, I hung up with my mom and called my brother-in-law. He said yes he would go and pick him up and take him to his house so my sister could watch him for me till I got off work. I was so relieved but the story doesn't end there. I remembered that my brother-in-law was not on my son's pick up list. So, I had to call the school and let them know who was going to be picking him up and why. They said okay no problem as long as he has his ID. So, then I call my brother-in-law back and tell him what the school said and so off he went. Wow, busy morning right. By the time I got off the phone and all was settled it had been a 1/2 an hour. My boss still not happy. Asked if I needed to leave? I told her no and she said "good". Hello, a store that claims they are family oriented sure didn't seem like it this morning.
Anyway, all that to say that "Stress it's a killer". My pastor was talking about stress on Wenesday night and so I am trying to relieve all stress from my life. That is hard to do. Really hard. I have two young kids and stress just seems to follow me around. If anyone knows a good stress reliever now would be a good time to share.

Reminders

2006-12-12T12:07:00.000-08:00

I was lookinb back at my last blog and read the last line that states something like all things work together for good. Well, my husband asked me this morning to pray for him so I have been all day. He is worried about somethings that I really don't think he should worry about. I was in the living room helping the kids get ready for school and silently praying and a verse came to me. "All things work together for good, to them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose." That verse was pressing on me so I went in the bedroom to talk to my husband and that is what I told him. That is what I felt like I should say to him at that time. Whatever happens is out of our hands but God knows and He will provide because He says so in Hi word. Faith the grain of a mustard seed can move mountains. I am believing God and standing on His word. Everything will be fine.

Concerns

2006-12-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

I don't want to bother anyone who reads this but I have one thing to ask. Please be in prayer for me. I don't usually ask for prayer for myself because that just seems selfish in my way of thinking. I am not telling what the specific need is right now, because if family memebers read this I don't want them to call with their advice. I want God's advice. My family is very important to me and I don't want to hurt any of them at all but we are human, flesh and bone, and we make mistakes. We make decisions based on emotions and feelings. If we are feeling strong and upbeat then we answer one way but at the end of the day if asked the same question our answer will be different. Starting today I am starting a prayer journal. I am going to write down all my cares, concerns, prayer needs things like this in this book and everyday prayer for each one of them specifically and watch how God works in each and everyone of them. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is not where God wants me to be in my Christian walk. I am changing and growing more each day, but again I am human. I fail and fall and make mistakes but with His help and guidance all will work together for good.

Eye Openers

2006-12-05T07:52:00.000-08:00

Well, I have always heard that by not going to church and by not reading the word of God that you are giving a foot hold to the devil. I can't say that I never believed that but wasn't sure if those 2 little things could cause so much trouble. Well, I was wrong! My family and I have missed 3 weeks of church and the last time that I really sat down to read and study the word was at least that long. Things are changing in my world and not really sure if they are good. Some of them are bad. I know now that I need to watch everything I say. I may not think it is bad but to hear it come from my kids sounds terrible. I am not talking about cursing and that sort of thing. But just a lot of negative things. Does God feel the same way? We are all God's children created in His image. Would He or Does He enjoy listening to us say those things? If I don't like hearing it come from my kids why would He like hearing it come from us? I am 29 years old. I don't think I am that old but I don't want to become so set in my ways now that I can't change them. Lord, Help me to change. Keep me in your will. So me your ways. I want to be just like you in all that I do and say. Amen.

A Long Time

2006-11-23T02:38:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been a long time since I last posted anything. I didn't really have a lot to say on my last post and I am praying that the Lord will give me something useful to say now. A post or two back I stated that I was on a diet and exercise program. Well, I am happy to report that I am still on the same program and I have lost 9 1/2 pounds in 3 weeks. I am happier with myself and seem to be in better health which is making my husband very happy. I never realized that when one got married they stopped really worrying about themselves as much. You begin to think about what you can do to make the other person happy. The first chapter or day 1 in the 40 days of purpose book stats "It's not about me". That is true not only with Christ but with a marriage. It's not about me. Why does everything have to center around me? Christ is the husband coming for His bride. We not only need to be ready but we need to be thinking about what would make Him happy. What does He want us to do? It is Thanksgiving day think of all the things that you are thankful for and just spend some time today Thanking God for all that He has done and will do in your life. Have a great Thanksgiving day.

Nothing much

2006-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

Well, there is nothing much really going on here. I am glad to say that all is well with me and my family. God is continuously blessing us and for that we are thankful. The exercise class that I am currently attending is hard and making me not want to eat because I have to work it off again. At least at some point I will lose weight. There is always a rainbow at the end of a storm.

Just a little insight

2006-11-06T07:08:00.000-08:00

I realize that it has been several days since my last blog. I am sorry for that. I would just like to let you know what has been going on. Nothing big and major has happened. Praise the Lord! Today will make my 7th day straight at work. Don't get me wrong I like my job. But no matter how much I like it, it just feels soooo good to stay at home on your day off.

Well, Yesterday was Sunday and it was supposed to be my day off after 5 days. I was looking forward to it. Despite the fact that I wasn't really going to have the Full day off because I help my husband on Sunday mornings at 2:30am, but after church I would be at home for the rest of the evening. Ahhhh! :o) Sadly, that didn't happen. I got a call about 3:30 yesterday afternoon asking if I could come in at 7 and work till 10 or I could close the place down at 9. I foolishly said okay but because of a meeting that started at 6 at church I wouldn't be able to be there until 7:15. They said Great! So, 7:15 comes and I am at work on a SUNDAY! I am not happy with myself or the people there. The guy that was working until I got there had the place in such a mess I didn't actually leave until 10:20pm. Now remember I have been up since 2:30am. I was tired, frustrated and it showed on my face. Now, another thing is that I will have OVER 40 hours this week and they HATE anyone getting over time. Nothing I can do about that right. So, they said that I could keep it or I could take it off sometime between now and Thursday. With any luck Thursday is my next day off. I realized that no matter how tired I am or frustrated I am with my job or the people there it is still my duty to show the Love of God to each person that I come in contact with. It has never hit me so hard as it did last night when I got home and was soooo tired that I literally collapsed on the bed from exhaustion. I feel like I have missed so much this week at my home and there is really nothing I can do about it. I know that my family sees God's love in the little things but the people of the world don't even see it in the big things. Like just watching a tree sway in the wind. That is why we as Christians are here. To help those that need it the most. Like I said this is just a little insight that I have begun to realize after yesterday.

The hardest thing

2006-11-02T08:53:00.000-08:00

I have recently started trying to change myself for the better. I am highly overweight and I am now currently on a exercise and diet program. It is so hard. I know that I can make it with God's help. He gave me the strength to actually get up this morning despite the fact that my leg muscles are so very sore from Tuesdays workout, and go workout again after I took my kids to school. I know that if it was just me I wouldn't have even bothered but I have been praying about this and I know that it was God directing me this morning. It is still going to be hard but I believe I can make it. Please keep me in your prayers. Have a great and Blessed day in the Lord.

Two Questions

2006-10-30T07:34:00.000-08:00

I went to a women's meeting last night and was asked two questions. So, I thought that I would share these questions with you. Where are you in the Lord and are you where you want to be? What is your heart's desire? I know that I am not where I want to be in the Lord but I am so much closer to Him now than ever before. And right now I just want more. How about you?

Is Christ the Theme of your Ministry

2006-10-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 4:3

If our gospel is hidden, then it is hidden from them that are lost. There are people lost and dying in this world and our ministry is to seek them out and preach them the gospel of Christ so they too can have eternal life. If Christ is the light of the world and Christ lives in us then we are His light to those that are in darkness. With God's help I will not procrastinate any longer. I will not hide the gospel from those that are lost.

Thirst for God

2006-10-15T14:20:00.000-07:00

Psalm 63 talks about thristing for God. Have you ever been very thirsty? I mean so thirsty that no matter what you drink of how much you just can't quench your thirst. I have and I can tell you that it is no fun at all. Did you know that you can thirst for God in the same manner? No matter how much of God's spirit you get you just can't seem to get enough. I am currently that way. I can't seem to get enough. I just want more and more. God, please grant me my request. I want more of you, and nothing else.

Just Thinking

2006-10-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

I was driving my kids to school this morning and was listening to the new cd that my husband bought. I was thinking about something a pastor at our church said on Sunday. He said, "Imagine if Jesus were sitting there in the room with you. You wouldn't just be worrying about what you are doing on the outside or what you are watching, but you should be having pure thoughts as well." How calm and peaceful would your spirit be? I am trying with God's help to be that peaceful and calm all the time. People are wanting to actually be around me now. Not that that is my goal but it does make you feel good about yourself and want to help others.

True Way into the Kingdom

2006-10-10T06:16:00.000-07:00

Matt. 7:21-23

21. Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my father in heaven.
22. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
23. And then will I profes unto them, I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

In verse 21 it tell us the true way into the kingdom of heaven, "He that doeth the will of my father in heaven". Jesus gave us an example of exactly that in Luke 22:42. Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane praying, "Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." WOW! He is about to be arrested and crusified for doing nothing wrong and yet he still says, "not my will but thine be done." Are we better than Jesus Christ himself that we shouldn't be saying the same thing, "Not my will Lord, but thine be done". There are a lot of people out there proclaiming to be Christians yet not actually doing the will of the Father. What is the will of the father? We are all disciples of Jesus. He told his disciples to go into all the world preaching and teaching the gospel. So, if we are called disciples then shouldn't we be out in the world preaching and teaching the gospel? OUCH! I think I just stepped on my own toes there. :o) I also think the will of the Father is different for each individual person. He has given you talents and gifts but we need to ask what He would want us to do with them. You should pray asking God to show you His will, His plan for your life. You also need to have a personal relationship with Jesus. How do you do that? By reading His word every day, bye praying without ceasing, by remembrance. Remember where you were and how He brought you out. Be sensitive to the spirit. He is your comforter in times of trouble. He will guide you into all truths. You need that personal relationship along with doing the will of the Father which is in heaven or one day you might just hear, "I never knew you; depart from me, ye that work iniquity."

Pearl of Great Price

2006-10-09T06:00:00.000-07:00

Matt. 13:45 & 46 says:
45. Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls.
46. Who, when he had found one pearl of great price sold all that he had, and bought it.

A merchant man, buyer, he is looking for the best pearl. We are like that merchant man looking for the best. The best being Jesus and the Kingdom of Heaven. The buyer or merchant found the pearl he was looking for but it cost a great deal. He had to sell all that he had in order to get it. To get to the Kingdom of Heaven we must also sell all that we have. In verse 46 it says "and bought it". That tells me right there that he didn't hesitate. He did what was necessary to get it. He found what he wanted and it didn't matter the cost. We today have found the goodly pearl. It has a great price. We must sell all that we have to get it. I am not talking about selling all your worldly possessions. The only way to get there is by selling out. We hear preachers saying that all the time. But it has never hit so close to home for me before till now. Don't go out and sell your car, your house, your furniture things like that. I am talking about you. Your mind, Your body, heart, soul, strength, family, finances all of it, give it to God. My pastor was talking about idols yesterday and how they are dead. Once you strip away the gold or silver or precious gems that it has been adorned with you have nothing but death. You need the True Living God in your life to help you through your times of trouble. When you completely sell out to God there is no limit to what God can do with you and through you. You could heal the sick, raise the dead, cause the blind to see, the lame could walk again. Praise the Lord! God help me to completely sell out to you. Not so that people will look up to me but they will look to You and You Alone. My challenge for you today is if you are not completely sold out to God but you want to be just say this prayer with me.

"Heavenly Father, I thank you for being who you are. For dying on that old rugged cross for me. Lord right now I give you my all. My family, finances, my heart, mind, my soul, and all my strength, all that I am and ever will be. I give it all to you for you to use to further your kingdom. To reach the lost and hurting. Lord I want to be your willing vessel. Here's my cup Lord, fill it up and make me whole. In Jesus name I pray. AMEN."

This is the day that the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it. :o)

Falling Short

2006-10-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

I never realized how easy it was to fall short. The bible says that all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. I read that and I know what it means but to actually have it apply to you is one thing. I never really thought about that verse as a sinner but when I became a Christian that verse really stuck out with me. I never really realized how far away from God I was. I look back now and it amazes me that the creator of this world would die for me. He didn't just die for me but for all. The homeless man that lives under the downtown bridge, the snotty little kid that lives just a couple of doors down, even the neighbor that you think is really nosy but is just wanting a friend. I have fallen short. I have not tried to reach out to these people. Even today I reminded my kids that they weren't allowed to play with this one kid from down the road because I felt he was a bad influence on them. But I am thinking to myself is that really what I should do. My children should be an even better influence on him. We are to live as the light of the world. As the song says "Hide it under a bushel . NO!" How many of us really Do hide it under a bushel. I don't want to be the one that hides her light anymore. I want the world to know just what God has done for me. I challenge you this day to not hide your light. Let it shine and let it shine so bright that someone will have to wear shades. :o)

Something New

2006-10-04T12:12:00.000-07:00

I titled this one something new because I really don't know what to call it. For several years God has placed in my heart the desire to work with kids, not just in an educational sense but more of a spiritual sense. Well, here lately I have this feeling like God is wanting me to do something else. I am not exactly sure what that is yet but I know that He will reveal it to me soon.

I just started working and have been witnessing to this lady at work. I didn't bring anything about church or my beliefs up. She asked me if I went to church and what I thought about a few things so I told her. And we have been talking about God things ever since. It was a wonderful feeling to be able to talk to her about my God. Then, this morning I went shopping at a local store and this little old lady was trying to find something but couldn't remember the name of what it was she was looking for. I was looking for windex and couldn't find it and found this other stuff called mean green glass and surface cleaner which happens to be what the little lady was talking about. She asked me how I knew what she was looking for and I told her that I didn't but God knew and He sends people right on time. She got all teary eyed and was amazed at how her day was going and thanked me for being honest with her. It was a great day for me.

A Magnificent Creator

2006-09-28T17:52:00.000-07:00

I was watching a movie called "Twister" this evening. I was amazed when they got to the part were they were tied to the pipes at that farm to try to keep from being blown away by the tornado. I never really thought of it before because it was just a movie for entertainment purposes. Well, when it got to that part this evening I was amazed that I never thought about this before. When they were in the middle of that tornado they looked up and you could see the middle of the storm. I was watching and began to cry and praise God for being a magnificent creator. I can't explain it really. It was just a wonderful site to see that the God that created little old insignificant me also made a storm so grand in size with a distructive pattern about it and yet it is still beautiful. I know some people like that. They are the meanest looking people but on the inside I know there is some good in them. Because as the popular kids shirt says "God don't make no Junk". :o) Since Sunday night September 24, 2006, I have had this peace about me. I don't know why. I don't think our circumstances have changed really. I just feel like a big heavy burden has been lifted and again I am seeing the beauty of God all around me. It is a wonderful feeling. Have a great day, and look around you, you never know what might cause you to smile.

Attacks!

2006-09-26T06:24:00.000-07:00

Here lately it seems like my family and I are being attacked. The enemy wants EVERYTHING that we have and even some of the things that we don't have. My family and I just left a church. Believe me that was the hardest thing to do because we do love the people of that church a lot. The pastor and his wife do have their hearts in the right place. I wouldn't say that the church is dead. Because they are growing, very slowly but they are growing. But it seems to me that they are only growing in one area. The elderly. Which don't get me wrong the elderly need God just as much as the rest of us. But what about the children, youth. Please don't blast me yet. :o) I was the children's minister. We had a great turn out at the children's Challenge that we had not long ago but none of the kids came back because most of them went to church elsewhere. I don't blame them for that. The people of that community don't like that church. That church in the past has hurt a lot of people. But people hold grudges for very long times.

On this past Sunday my husband was the worship leader but God had asked him to sit back and watch. So he did. Then this past Sunday God told him to lead worship and see what happens. So he did. You must know something about my huband. He has a heart for worship. That is his passion. It was very hard on him to just sit there and do nothing, but he did it because God asked him to. Have you ever sacrificed something that you were passionate about becasue God asked you to? It is not the easiest thing to do. Back to what I was saying. :o) I was in the congregation on this past Sunday and I was trying with all that was within me to praise and worship but the spirit of God just was not there. I felt like I was going through a thick cloud and there was no end to it. Then I looked up at the platform and saw my husbands face as he was trying to lead these people and you could see the hurt and anguish on his face. It literally broke my heart to watch. I had to close me eyes. My focus all that morning during worship was on God. Not all the millions of problems that seem to be facing my family but God and God alone. And I still could not get to him.
We have decided to go back to the church were we came from because God was asking us to leave this little church. So, on Sunday night I went to a ladies meeting and God was there. You could feel him in the room. It was wonderful.
Many of you probably know that for the past 2 months or so I have been looking for a job, looking for a car. Well, guess what. I now have a job that pays good for being such a small town, and for as long as I need it we have a family car again. One of the ladies on Sunday asked what was going on so I told her. We went looking, my husband and I, at cars on Monday morning after we picked up some furniture for my sis-in-law. And we found the car we want. It is going to take us about 4 weeks to come up with the down payment and then for 3 years that car is covered by a bumper to bumper warranty including the engine. Praise the Lord. I was bummed because I am not a patient person and I am going to have to wait. But my husband said just wait and be cheerful and all will work out just fine. Well, I went to work and I was cheerful told everybody that I found the car that I want but it is going to take a few weeks that sort of thing. When I got home on my lunch hour at 5 the lady that I was talking to on Sunday night, her husband called and said that they had a car that he just brought home from the train yard (he's an engineer) and they wouldn't be using it and we could use for as long as we needed it. PRAISE THE LORD! PRAISE THE LORD! The desert is ending and I can see the Well it is just in reach.

Questions

2006-09-13T11:42:00.000-07:00

There are many questions right now going through my brain. I don't know which one to start off with. There was a question asked me through a blog that I read daily and that is going through my head right now more than anything. The question was "What is your passion?". Right now I can't really tell you. It used to be Christ and what I could do for him. I am not saying that that is still not the case. But to actually stop and think about it. I think I lost that passion when my husband went through some things and stopped leading worship. He says that it wasn't worship becuase no one was worshiping. He said that what they want is someone to just lead them in some songs so they can sing and now that is what they have. My spirit is dwindling. It feels as if I am dry and can't quench my thirst. No matter how much I read my bible or pray, which seems to be never ending now days, I still feel dry. I know that at times we go through deserts in our lives but I also now that there is an oasis and I just can't find it. My MP3 player is filled with nothing but praise and worship music and when I am cleaning or even just reading it is playing in my ear. If anyone has any ideas on how to quench this thirst please let me know. I would like to leave you with a song.
Here's my cup Lord. I lift it up Lord.
come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed my till I want no more
Here's my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

Nothing much

2006-09-09T04:31:00.000-07:00

Well, my last blog has created a lot of controversy(spelling). I am all foggy as to why I even blogged what I did. I have been taking some cold medicine and I think it has fogged up my already foggy brain. When the devil is attacking you and your entire family it always feels like it is coming from all different directions. It makes you weary because you are always on the look out for what is going to happen next. I would like to say however that I am very proud of my sister-in-law. She has started on a new journey in her life and I know that being by herself is not going to be easy. I will however be praying God's blessing on her life because she is going to need it. Another thing, friends are easy to find when they need something but it is the ones that stick through thick or thin that are the real gems. If I have learned anything in the past couple of days it is to think before you speak and cherish the friends you have because not everyone has one.

Hurtful things

2006-09-06T20:42:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had anyone in your life that you looked up to and took their opinion to heart? Well, I have and it is great. Until you find out that that person is the one person that can RIP your heart out with just one little word. I have a person that I considered my sister. We used to do all kinds of things together. I used to look forward to when she and I would just spend hours talking and playing skip-bo. I was closer to her than either of my two real sisters. And she is the one person that can tear me down with just one little word. How is it that we let people do that to us. I have decided that no one from now on is going to hurt me like that again. With God's help I will overcome.

Sermons

2006-09-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been reading your bible and all of a sudden you are inspired to put a sermon together? Well, this morning I was doing my daily reading and found that I was not only hungry to learn more but I wanted to share what I learned with others. It was the greatest feeling in the world. But I found also that afterwards I felt kinda drained, so I had to read more to refuel myself. I have taught children's church for about a year maybe a bit longer but never felt like this. This is not a sermon suited for kids. I don't know why the Lord has given it to me but I am so glad that He did. If you would like to read it, it is posted at www.missionwhitesboro.blogspot.com . It is not bad it is just not the typical children's church story to tell. So, I encourage you to go and read it when you have time.

Lots going on

2006-09-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. I seem to be doing this,or that, or the other. We have had a trying time here lately, and I think I brought it on myself. On July 20, 2006 my grandmother, the only grandmother that I have really known, passed away. About 2 weeks prior to that I was feeling the leading of the Holy Spirit to go and speak with my grandmother about heaven and a relationship with Jesus Christ. Well, a week went by and I was reminded again to go. I again became too "busy" with things and never got over there. Well, I came home from church on Wednesday night about 8:30 on the 19th and thought that I should call her and see if she felt like having company for about an hour. But, again I didn't. On Thursday morning about 2:30 am I am awakened by the phone. It is my mother asking me to come to my grandmothers. One thing you must know, my grandmother lived just around the corner from me. I knew my mother wouldn't be calling me that time of the morning if it wasn't vitally important. So, I got into my car and drove as quickly but safely as I could to her house. And, my greatest fears had come true. My grandmother had passed away. I was devastated but I needed to be strong for my mother. I didn't tell my mom about what was going through my heart and mind for 2 weeks because I didn't want to depress her more. So, my husband listened to me go on and on about what kind of a Christian can I be if I couldn't even talk to my own grandmother.
Well, a month later and my car has completely quit on me and my husbands truck you have to push to start it. We are not doing well financially, which is one reason why I still do not have a car. I have sinned and I know it. I think that my sin has brought this on not only myself but my family as well. I am currently trying to get back in the good graces of God and it is a hard road. Just as parents must correct their children God must correct his own. This is my correction and I am not liking it but I am still trusting Him and leaning on His understanding not my own.

A whole lot of stuff

2006-07-10T10:58:00.000-07:00

I was asked a question Sunday morning during Sunday School so I am going to ask you. What is your Joy? I pondered this all day. On saturday night I was up until 12pm and I go to work at 3:00am every morning. Well, Sunday morning after work i usually go back to sleep for at least an hour sometimes 2 if I am lucky. But this Sunday I could not get back to sleep. I don't know why but something wouldn't let me sleep. So I layed there and prayed and that is all I did was pray. I prayed for 2 hours. And no answer came. Have you ever prayed with all that is in you and still no answer came? Well, the Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. So, guess what? That is what I did all day yesterday. There were some things going on in me personally that made me feel inadequit like there were things that I was supposed to be doing but not. Well, Sunday night God asked me to give up something that I really don't want to. It was litterally ripping out my heart to hear Him say to do this. Just that morning I was teaching the kids in children's church about Jonah and who he disobeyed God and that is how he ended up in the belly of that whale. So, I told them that when God speaks to them and asks them to do something they should do it. Because God will not put more on us then we can handle. So, Sunday night the pastor asked everyone to pray and our church really does not have an alter so I stayed at me seat and prayed. God answered my prayer and told me that I needed to quit the worship team and stay in the congregation with the children of the church. I heart's cry is for the children. To see them saved and living for God and worshipping Him in spirit and in truth. It really hurt to hear Him ask me to do this because I love to sing. During this time the worship leader and the pianist are up there singing while people are praying and they began to sing, while similtaniously I was asking God to fill in the void that would be where my energy for the worship team would be, they began to sing "Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord. Come and quench this thirsting of my soul, bread of Heaven feed me till I want no more, Here's my cup fill it up and make me whole". Since then I have spoken with the worship leader which is my husband and told him. He doesn't understand completely because I couldn't explain but he knows when I hear from God and knows that I want to follow His will not mine. And since I told him I haven't wanted to sing on the worship team anymore. I know that it is still there but God has replaced it with my heart's cry so intensely that that is all I think about now. Thank you Lord for dealing a strong headed woman, and thank you for filling that void in me. Amen.

My Life

2006-07-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to give a little insight about a day in the life of me. On Sundays I go to church. Not because I have to but because I want to. The same thing for Wednesdays. Either Monday or Tuesday my husband and I play a role playing game with a mutual friend. On Thursday I really don't do anything as well as Friday. On Saturday we go to a warehouse and sweat profusely for and hour because in this warehouse there is no air conditioning and in Texas it is nearly 100 degrees outside but in the building at least 120. It is like being in a giant sweat box and each time I am there I think of the episode of "I Love Lucy" were of course she wants to be in the show, but this time she can be in it but she just can't fit into the outfit. So she goes on a diet and on the last day she rents a steam box and sits in there all day after being in there she can fit into the dress. I feel like I should be at least a dress size smaller after our Saturday in the giant sweat box. That is my week. But as you noticed the first line said that on Sunday I go to church because I want to but the rest of the week I spent no time with God. I didn't talk to Him and read His word. Nothing. So, why should I want to go to church? Good question. I am starting to pray and read everyday which is what needs to be done. I can't wait to see what God can do through me.

Busy Lives

2006-05-16T11:59:00.000-07:00

Here at my home we have been busy. Sunday was my first sermon I had heard from my pastor in about a month. Not that I wasn't there but for the past 5 weeks I have been in Children's Church so I hadn't heard a sermon in a while. But I was sitting there listening and realized something about myself. He was saying that in the book of Mark there was a man possesed by demons but he went to church every Sunday. He would go and listen to them teach and he would leave the same way he came still possesed. Until one day a Man walked into the temple the teach and preach as one with authority. The demons in that man asked Him if He had come to torment them. That Man told those demons to be quiet and get out. My pastor said that is like today. We have let the devil in our home and are allowing him to take over our children and spouses and we are not doing anything about it. It is time we take authority in our homes and in our families and say "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord".
That got me to thinking about something else. I have come to realize that I am a hypocrite. I expect my children to obey me when I ask something of them. But, when God asks something of me, I don't always do what He asks. After all He is my heavenly Father. I should obey Him as much or more than I would want my own children to obey me. As the mother and wife of the home I must set the example. My children look up to me and see what I do and that gives them an example of how I want things to go. God wants all of us not just bits and pieces that we decide we can give up. To know God, I mean really know Him we must communicate with Him daily and read His word. I have 3 bibles and there are those in China who want one desperately but if they are found with one they go to prison. I have 3 and don't read them as much as someone over in China would read one if they could just have one without going to prison for it. There are things that we Christains take for granted. I am now on a new path. I will follow the Lord's leading for my life in ALL things. I will not be petty and spitefull with people. I have decided that no matter what I have a reason to smile and that reason is simple. GOD LOVES ME and FORGAVE ME when I didn't deserve it at all. There is only one thing He asks for in return and that is all of me. That is what I intend to give Him. So, I encourage you to read your bible and pray everyday not just for big stuff but for the little things, not just asking for things but also just to say "Thank You".

Faults

2006-04-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

Well, I was just sitting here thinking about the fault line in California. The fault line is underground and ugly. Kind of like our faults. We try to hide them because we don't want anyone to see them. They are ugly. When people point out our faults it hurts. It is the same way with God. It hurts when He tells us or points out to us where we could use some improvment. All, I can say to you is that no matter what happens just keep trying.

Listening

2006-04-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

I realized the other day that God does still speak to His people. The problem is His people want a quick fix and are not really listening to the answer. Elijah was seeking God but He was not in the Earthquake or the fire but in the still small voice. And the question God asked him was "What are you doing here?" What are we really doing here? Are we listening to God? The children of Israel moved when God moved. A cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. Sometimes I think God has left us while we still haven't moved. Something else I am wondering about. If God has moved and left us behind, how can we find where He has moved to? I don't believe He is up there waiting on us. When He moves either we move with Him or He goes on ahead while we try and play catch up. I don't know about you but I hate to play catch up. I always feel like I am never going to get there at that point. Do we really need to see the earthquake and the fire before we stop and listen to the still small voice of God? I believe that if we pray and really seek God's face then He will direct us in the way we should go. So I encourage you to continue praying and seeking Him in all that you do. Don't just do it because it feels right.

Keep Smiling

2006-04-04T17:01:00.000-07:00

I have realized that no matter what happens if I just keep smiling things don't seem so bad. So, I was wondering, how do you know you are going to the church that God wants you to go to? I have been going over this in my mind for a few days and still haven't come up with an answer. The only thing I can come up with is to continue to pray and ask for guidance. I will continue to keep smiling and having a good day no matter what happens. I am here to just tell you to continue to keep smiling no matter what happens.

Not everything is roses

2006-04-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever really looked at your life? Have you ever thought about all the things that you could have done or could have said? I have. I was sitting here this morning thinking about the direction my life is going right now. It isn't going far. I don't have a job, my church family unknowingly hurts me. I just don't get it. What have I done that God would guide me this far and when I need Him the most it doesn't seem like He is there.

The Greatest thing

2006-04-02T12:18:00.000-07:00

I would just like to let you know about the Greatest thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, my family is tops in my life but the greatest thing in my life is the relationship I have with my Heavenly Father. He is the best friend that I never had. I am trying to instill in the children that I teach at church that the greatest thing in their lives is the relationship that they have with God. There are many challenges in my life that are there to keep me in line. But there are also challenges to teach me things. Right now I am being challenged and I am not sure if it is a teaching tool or a "hey you are going the wrong way" kind of thing. One question for you. Have you had any challenges that are not teaching you something or getting you back in line?

The Perfect Evening

2006-04-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

Ladies, have you ever had the perfect evening with your spouse? I did :o) First off let me explain something. I have the greatest sister-in-law in the world. I could not have asked for a better one. Not just for the things that she has done for us over the years but she has a great spirit. Sometimes I think she loves too much. She is a great woman of God and I know that if I asked her anything that she would possibly have the answer and if not she would know where to find it. I usually don't call her my sister-in-law because that just doesn't cover it. She is my sister and my best friend. Anyway, sorry I went off on a little rabbit trail there. :o)

Back to the perfect evening. My sister kept our children last night for us. You just don't realize what a BLESSING that was. I was a substitute teacher the last three days of this week so my nerves were frazzled. I just needed a little time to recoup. My wonderful husband and I went out to eat last night. Not anywhere fancy or anything. We sat in the restaurant for at least an hour talking and having fun telling tales about our day. Then we came home. I had just bought a new cd so I brought that inside and we danced just about all evening right here in our living room. It was wonderful. I will never forget last night.

Thank you God for the wonderful people that you have placed in my life. I exist because you allow me too. I thank you everyday for the chance to serve you one more day. Amen

Just Another Day in Paradise

2006-03-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

Well, it has been a while since I have written. My days seem to run together all the time. Well, on to today message. Have you ever been in a room with about 18 5 year olds? Well, if you haven't let me fill you in. The day starts out rough because if it is not your class then the students think it is a fun day. So they are loud and really rowdy. Not only that but they try you all day long. Our teacher lets us do this or when we get done she says that we can have free play. It is such a joy. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. I really like being a teacher, but somedays are worse than others. I don't know which is worse having a migrain the size of Texas or having a classroom full of 5 year olds. I think I would rather work with 8 year olds. They will at least follow some insturctions that are given to them. I have one more day with these five year oldsso I am going to need all the help I can get. Please pray for me.

A little about me.

2006-03-10T16:12:00.000-08:00

My name is Chloe Alleyne. I am actually writing for a friend. My friend is actually a very nice and quiet person. She doesn't like controversy much. I on the other hand really don't care what people think of me. I will stick to what I believe no matter what anyone thinks about it. I am 28 years old. I have no kids but my friend has 2. They are rather interesting creatures. Hence the reason why I don't have any. I really don't have a lot to talk about right now. I hope to post everyday. I will think on things and have something more to talk about tomorow. Until then have a great day and God Bless.